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regala_electraI need to get off my ass and start looking for a new job. And if I write it here, maybe I'll listen to my inner voice and actually do something about it.
The situation at work is not of the good, I'm unable to stop my fucking crush on That Guy (aka BILTF, and if you get what those letters stand for, you get a cookie), I'm being treated like crap and expected to do double the amount of work because we're almost always short-staffed, and no, I simply must stop working there. I can't stand it anymore.
I have to write a reaction to a poem called "Sex Without Love." It's about how you can't have sex unless you're in a relationship. I skimmed it once (it's really short), and I cry "bullshit." I'm thinking of writing a poem IN response to the ideas of the poem, only go the "sex is good, everyone can do whatever they want" route. I don't know, that poem rubbed me the wrong way.
Either I was wired completely different from everyone else, or I am indeed insane to think it's possible to have sex, enjoy it, and not require to be IN LURVE in order to have a happy, healthy life. I mean, I'd like the relationship, but I don't need it. Maybe I'm an alien. Or I'm really a guy. A gay guy that likes pretty men. Mmmm...Lex. *g*
The relationship paper I wrote for my class, I took the position that the dating situation/riuals now are good, or at least, beneficial from my POV, that is, as a single, indepedent woman. I don't need a man, and if I want one, it isn't going to define my life.
However, several of the women in my classes said that dating now wasn't so great and there was a lot of "if a woman dates a lot, she's a whore." I heard "whore," "slut," and "promiscuous" thrown around loosely in class discussion a whole lot and it kind of disturbs me. Is a woman in control of her body and her sexual actions really a slut? Is it so bad to free and enjoy one's self?
Why is it that a man can still sleep around and fuck as many girls as he likes, but if a woman does that, she's a whore? It just grates my nerves that that is the accepted party line. Women want relationships, men want sex, and for some reason I'm stuck in the middle, either's nice and yeah, I still want to check "yes, please" on forms that ask about "sex."
I don't think I've formed any opinions or theories, but that's okay, as I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I just feel like it's wrong for me, a woman, to have a sex drive, to want sex and not need to be "in love," and happy without dating anyone.
Maybe it's just the late hour and I'm overthinking things.
The situation at work is not of the good, I'm unable to stop my fucking crush on That Guy (aka BILTF, and if you get what those letters stand for, you get a cookie), I'm being treated like crap and expected to do double the amount of work because we're almost always short-staffed, and no, I simply must stop working there. I can't stand it anymore.
I have to write a reaction to a poem called "Sex Without Love." It's about how you can't have sex unless you're in a relationship. I skimmed it once (it's really short), and I cry "bullshit." I'm thinking of writing a poem IN response to the ideas of the poem, only go the "sex is good, everyone can do whatever they want" route. I don't know, that poem rubbed me the wrong way.
Either I was wired completely different from everyone else, or I am indeed insane to think it's possible to have sex, enjoy it, and not require to be IN LURVE in order to have a happy, healthy life. I mean, I'd like the relationship, but I don't need it. Maybe I'm an alien. Or I'm really a guy. A gay guy that likes pretty men. Mmmm...Lex. *g*
The relationship paper I wrote for my class, I took the position that the dating situation/riuals now are good, or at least, beneficial from my POV, that is, as a single, indepedent woman. I don't need a man, and if I want one, it isn't going to define my life.
However, several of the women in my classes said that dating now wasn't so great and there was a lot of "if a woman dates a lot, she's a whore." I heard "whore," "slut," and "promiscuous" thrown around loosely in class discussion a whole lot and it kind of disturbs me. Is a woman in control of her body and her sexual actions really a slut? Is it so bad to free and enjoy one's self?
Why is it that a man can still sleep around and fuck as many girls as he likes, but if a woman does that, she's a whore? It just grates my nerves that that is the accepted party line. Women want relationships, men want sex, and for some reason I'm stuck in the middle, either's nice and yeah, I still want to check "yes, please" on forms that ask about "sex."
I don't think I've formed any opinions or theories, but that's okay, as I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I just feel like it's wrong for me, a woman, to have a sex drive, to want sex and not need to be "in love," and happy without dating anyone.
Maybe it's just the late hour and I'm overthinking things.
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no subject
Date: 2003-02-22 11:09 pm (UTC)People should be able to have sex with whoever they want and not have a social stigma attached to them. I talk all idealistically, but I'm guilty of calling people a whore when I know she sleeps around. On the other hand, I don't think highly of a guy that will fuck anything with two legs. And I don't want to be involved with him either.
I think it's common mistake to associate sex with love. People assume if someone has sex with you, they love you. Women have sex with men because they want love, need it, and see sex as a way to capture a male's attention. My best friend always has to be involved with someone. She needs to be told she's loved or she doesn't feel validated as a person.
I'm all for having one night stands. Hell, at this point, I'm ready to go and have one myself. Almost. But I think people use sex as a way to hide things they really feel about themselves, inadequacies they aren't ready to face.
I think perceptions are changing though. A woman CAN have sex outside of a relationship and not be a whore. And I know plenty of man whores that don't have a good reputation.
But there is, in my opinion, a big difference between having sex and making love. Having sex satifies your physical needs, but making love satisfies physical, emotional, mental, spiritual needs. While sex is great, making love is infinitely more fulfilling.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-22 11:15 pm (UTC)I agree, Jen, of course this could be because we're cut of the same cloth.
I do think things are changing, but it's hard when it feels like I'm the only one who thinks this way in RL. I've never really used the word whore unless it's meant as a joke, usually for myself. (As in, Reg, biggest feedback whore ever) It's shocking that people actually think that a woman's a whore for listening to her active sex drive and going out and doing something about it.
As for the "Having sex" and "making love," I don't really have a position on that. On my good days, I'm all, "love is grand," and on my bad, "love fucking sucks."
no subject
Date: 2003-02-23 07:55 am (UTC)Umm.
My guess is "Butthead in LongIsland That Farts.
So. Do I get a cookie?
*wink*
As for the "slut stud" thing....
That just pisses me off...and I have wet hair...which needs to be dried, so I'm just going to stay away from it before I go off into a megarant. *G*